who is emily

Me: I’m totally using this to teach passive voice in a few weeks http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/28rodovich.html

Friend: that’s awesome! I want to think of more; lyrics are easier than titles: “If my sweater should be desired to be destroyed by you.”

Me: Big butts are enjoyed by me, and lies cannot be told by me. This fact cannot be denied by other brothers.

Friend: rap, huh? true to my roots. “be stopped, be collaborated with, and I may be listened to (?)” OR “this can’t be touched”

Me: Before an ocean is created by this river / before my heart is thrown back on the floor by you…

Just got Every Time I Die’s New Junk Aesthetic on vinyl - limited edition pink vinyl, no less - and it sounds like a completely different recording. I realize it’s pretty pretentious to wax* poetic about how awesome records are, but honestly, I feel like somebody just picked enormous wads of cotton out of my ears and then threw ice water in my face. It’s like I’m emerging from Plato’s cave every time I listen to a record.

* See what I did there? Wax? Vinyl?

Being youngish and teaching college composition creates a whole bunch of weird situations and teacher-student interactions. One of my favorite versions of these is the awkward period at the beginning of the quarter when my students try to figure out what to call me. (The fact that I sign all my communications with them “Emily” doesn’t seem to register.)

Things My Students Have Called Me So Far This Quarter

1. Emily
2. Miss Toler
3. Mrs. Toler
4. Professor Toler
5. Professor Emily
6. Professor Etoler
7. Instructor